Swami Tinhi Jagacha Aai Vina Bhikari (Lord of all three worlds is a beggar without mother)

 

What you see is the last photo of my mother and I in the same frame, when she was alive on July 10,2021. That was the last daylight she saw. Even though she was my mother, she was like my first child and hence her passing is like passing of my first-born and mother together and life will never be the same again. She had completed 73 years on this planet.

Post Death Introspection:

I can write a book on what may have gone  wrong or what I could have done differently. This is all I have been thinking almost all the time.  I’ll list down few mistakes and few observations:

1.       BRAIN DOES NOT WORK especially if a loved one is involved. I had an ambulance number with me in the house and I had organized medical papers a day early as we were supposed to meet with doctors next day. I foolishly went to get an ambulance and that took roughly 20 minutes. Practicing emergency drills at home the way we do earthquake and fire drills in U.S. is extremely important. This also includes training all the young children.

2.       All symptoms; jaw pain, sweating, vomiting, high BP that I listed above point to impending or live heart attack. The only symptom that was missing was chest pain. I found out later that WOMEN MAY NOT HAVE CHEST PAIN. One of the doctor told us that patients with diabetes might not feel chest pain. Women’s symptoms differ from men and what we see in movies. Although we will never know what caused my mother’s death, I believe that all the symptoms were pointing towards a heart attack. Most people I talked with afterwards did not know that heart attacks may not always involve chest pain.

3.      It also requires great communication from the patient as without it, the true impacts and issues may not be found, and cause even greater harm afterwards, such as the emotional pain of someone close passing away. Parents usually choose not to bother kids with their health condition and suffer alone. They also need to understand that the suffering is way more if the situation becomes fatal. 

4.    In Indian culture we are trained since childhood to follow orders from elders without asking any questions. Not a single day has not gone passed by when I didn't curse myself for not overriding my mother's reluctance to go to hospital and  take her to ER sooner. 

5.   We did not do post mortem as we didn't want the doctors to further dissect my mother (now referred to as body). In hindsight, after consulting with different doctors, it looks like a mistake. It would have told us the root cause of her death which we  will never know. It would also warn us and our children of any genetic disorder.  

I have pledged to educate as many as I can and this blog is in that direction to educate non medical folks about basic warning signs. I will learn along the way and post it in this or other blog. If my effort saves one life, it will be a tribute to my mother.